The Remembered

If you read my last post, you'll know that I feel somewhat of an attachment to the people whose items end up in my possession. I suppose I've always had a romantic nature and some people would call me ridiculous but I am increasingly finding myself swept into the lives of complete strangers.

It's inspired me to write about a woman that I have never met (and never will meet) but who I now feel as though has become a sort of absent friend.

Her name is Joan Mathers.

The first I knew of Joan (front row of the photo, fourth from left, in the striped dress) was a few weeks ago at my very first trip to the auction house. This is a company that specialises in house clearances and I had been desperate to get to an auction to source items for my stall. Viewing was on the Tuesday, the auction was on the Wednesday.

At first, the excitement of rifling through boxes of china, household items & furniture was all I really considered, along with the many other people there all for the same thing. The fact that this was a house clearance of someone who had recently died didn't really register too much.

But even that one hour searching for treasure taught me a lot about Joan: she adored dogs - spaniels in particular - was an avid collector of antiques and she loved brightly-coloured costume jewellery. 

I was struck by just how sad it was that this lady had no family to take care of her possessions, as a huge number of them were very personal. All that she had left was eagerly being rummaged through by people (myself included, of course) looking for a bargain. Where were her family? Where were her friends?

The next day, at the auction itself, I'll admit that these feelings were mostly pushed to one side by the sheer rush of bidding and, sometimes, winning. I collected my purchases - paintings, boxes of paper ephemera, photographs, china and glassware - and took them home to sort through them.

What I found out about Joan (and her husband, Peter) from a couple of hours of reading her papers is too great to write here and besides, she deserves a dedicated post, just about her. She is a lady who lived a full and interesting life and it should be remembered by someone, even if that someone never truly knew her. Her story is one I will go on to tell here, very soon.

I'd already decided to write about her when I got talking to several people about the whole affair. It surprised me that people were so genuinely interested in what Joan had left behind and what I had learned about her. It even moved one friend to tears that someone's life should end up encapsulated by a few dirty boxes holding their most precious possessions for strangers to pick over.

In explaining that I was going to write about her, people seemed to agree that this was a way to honour her and so that's what I intend to do. I feel as though I know this woman, having journeyed throughout her whole life in one way or another, even if there are only clues about events, places and people. 

From the letter that she wrote to a man called Jack - telling him that she was very sorry but she could not marry him - to the notes from a dressmaking course that she took in 1953, to the photographs of various workplaces she had, this was a life; Joan's life. 

So, I've made a promise to myself (and to them); when I come across an item that reveals its previous owner to me, I will create something here, as a lasting memory of who they once were. Maybe no-one will ever read it but at least I will know that it exists. 

Richard E. Grant said in his recent Channel 4 programme, 'The Dirty Weekenders' that when we take ownership of an antique, we merely look after it for a few years and are just a stop-off on its journey. 

There are some items of Joan's that I don't think I'll be able to part with, now that I 'know' her and honestly, care for her. Maybe I am just looking after them for a while, ready for them to be part of someone else's story. 

But for now, I'll settle for telling a little of her story.

Hidden history

In buying vintage items for my stall & upcoming Etsy shop, I have had an absolute ball. To me, there is nothing better than the anticipation before a buying trip, whether it be to a charity shop, a boot sale or - my new favourite - the auction house.

It's the feeling of excitement, of not knowing what gems you might find. Sometimes, there's disappointment; a feeling of 'better luck next time'.  But sometimes, there's that rush of adrenaline that I guess some people get with shoes, designer clothes or jewels. I just happen to get it scrabbling around in a box or on shelf of forgotten items that have seen better days and that leave my hands with a fine coating of dirt!

But the absolute best thing to me, better than finding a treasure, is finding a treasure that has a hidden message.

This has happened more than expected and I feel genuinely lucky to have stumbled across the messages you can see above (as well as others that I haven't yet posted). I chose these ones to post, as these were the ones that I genuinely did not know existed until I bought the items. 

The first items are two prayer books I got from a boot sale. There's something lovely about the fact that in Christmas 1943, Dottie both gave and received a prayer book. How often do we take the time nowadays to write inscriptions inside books given as gifts? Not enough; maybe that's something I should start to do.

But my favourite message is the one you can see in the copy of Daphne du Maurier's 'Rebecca' that I bought for my wedding. We had named all of the tables after our favourite books and wanted a copy of each one. I headed to ebay and bought this copy from the 40s, not knowing that inside lay the most beautiful poem.

What happened to Stanley & Bridget? I can only imagine that they never ended up together or surely, surely this book would have somehow stayed with them? The series of details that Stanley provides allows us to imagine him, sat there, waiting for her. I'd like to think that she received the book, she received him into her life, they married and she left this book somewhere, forever regretting having lost it but living happily ever after with her 'darling'.

It feels as though a small, quiet voice has reached out over the years and hopefully, someone, somewhere, will know that they have been heard.

Inspiration....and what to do with it

I never thought of myself as being particularly creative until quite recently. I was never very good at art at school, can't draw (the lady I had to draw in the interior design class I attended a few years ago would testify to that - she ended up looking like Sloth from 'The Goonies'!) and don't dress particularly trendily. All artists have to look a little bohemian, right?

But therein lies the problem. I never thought of myself as artistic. But that doesn't mean I'm not; something I've only just realised.

The feeling I'm about to describe is what I suppose you would call creativity - other people might be able to help me out on this - that feeling of being incredibly content and then having somehow 'woken up' from normal life, bursting with ideas.

It seems to happen to me when I've been to a new place, usually somewhere I've found beautiful in some way. It happens when I've been with certain people. After a film I've loved, Christmas, other people's parties, magazines, visiting a cosy home, a new purchase, the work of a designer, fairy-lights, finding beautiful books to pile together (hence the photo)....I could go on.

Until recently, I've often had that feeling but haven't known what to do with it. In the summer, someone told me that I needed to somehow get the creative energy out of my system and into my life, words that have really stuck with me.

So, I'm taking a tentative step forward by enrolling on an art taster course. The night before, I'll most likely start panicking that I won't be able to do it (or that I'll run into Goonies woman again) but something tells me that I've made a good decision this time. We'll see. Sloth artwork photos to follow!

Making an entrance

This was the first thing I saw when I walked into my fabulously-stylish friend Jade's wedding. And it took my breath away.

She had spent a huge amount of time and effort making her marquee look this perfect. All of the guests had the same reaction and it got me thinking; how many people really think about that moment when your guests walk in?

It all depends on your venue, whether it's for a wedding or a party. At my wedding, for example, it wasn't as possible, as the hotel we held it in had a short walk through a corridor and up some stairs into the bar area. Then you entered the main room - and that's where I focused on my 'moment'.

If I was looking at venues again, I might consider it a little more. But wherever your venue and whatever the event, that first impression stays with your guests.

So bunting, flowers, paper poms, lighting...this is where the larger-scale (and maybe less glamorous - after all, who likes being stuck up a ladder trying to hang paper poms for 2 hours?) features come into their own.

Insta-gratification

I flipping well love Instagram.

I've always loved photography - I am by no means an expert; I just see something I like and take a few photos of it, hoping that one will look as good as the original object did to me in reality.

The humble camera-phone isn't really so humble any more and it turns out I'm a little obsessive about taking photos of everyday things, as well as major things, like weddings and holidays.

For me (as with most things in life!), it's all about the details, rather than scenery or people. And Instagram somehow makes it all the more exciting.

I love choosing my filter, posting it and waiting to see if anyone else likes it either! And the filters make photographs taken by me while I was wearing my pyjamas, or whilst at my desk or when I was watching TV, look somehow....fabulous!

Thought I'd post a few, all taken by me; might also be a little inspiration for someone!

The pleasure and disappointment of my wedding cake

If you look somewhere below, you'll see a post on how I was planning to make my own wedding cake. And the result is shown in the photos.

OK, so completely unimpressive (despite the fact that my cake is smiling at you!). Part one of the pleasure - we hadn't burned it! Part one of the disappointment - looked cracked and neither my mum, my brother or myself (the master bakers) had the skills or know-how to ice the three tiers we made.

We ended up getting my friend's mum to ice the tiers, which she did beautifully - part two of the pleasure!

Fast forward to the wedding day.

Having been married all but an hour and a half, I was desperate to get to the reception venue, just to look at the room. I had no control over the decoration of this room on the day; if you knew me at all, you'd understand the distress this caused me!

Ignoring the Pimms on offer, I headed straight for the tables, had a quick look (thinking all the while, 'I would have done this better'!) only to discover that my cake was a real disappointment.

The plan had been for the hotel to assemble the tiers, stacking and pinning ribbon around each tier, finishing off with a specific vintage cup and saucer, complete with fabric flower.

The kitchen staff had stacked it well but stuck the ribbon down in any old fashion, meaning that you could see the joins whatever angle you looked at it from. There was no cake topper and it just looked very sorry for itself.

Cue me abandoning the photographer (and my groom) to find the specific cup and saucer I'd selected!

At the end of the day, the cake tasted amazing (courtesy of a BBC Good Food recipe - see below for link) and the guests loved it. We didn't spend that much doing it and it was relatively stress-free. But I'd be lying if I said that the photograph of the wonky joins didn't bother me. It really does!

So much so that I am enrolling on a basic course to learn to ice a cake properly! Right after the wedding, this got added on to the '40 Before I'm 40' List (a post for another day!). I want to be able to do it myself, not have to rely on anyone else and line up the ribbon right, every time.

Vintage wedding inspiration...keys

To start off with, here's an image from my wedding. I wanted to use old keys after reading an idea in a magazine about a bride who had a birdcage that held a prize. Every guest had a key and only one opened the cage. I absolutely loved this idea, as the keys could also work as favours, as well as adding a vintage feel to my tables. Cue one birdcage from ebay, a gorgeous old padlock and key, a lot of other old keys from ebay (and I mean a lot - quite a few were too 'ugly' for my exacting standards! Trust me, keys can be ugly), a lot of ribbon, 'wish' tickets and a box of Hotel Chocolat chocolates as the prize. I can't tell you how well this went down on the day! Everyone saw the birdcage as they came in to the reception and it was an immediate talking point. Everyone was seated and the waiters were ready to come around with drinks when the ushers went around, explaining the birdcage. Result - deserted reception room! Anyone would have thought there was a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's factory in there! The excitement and laughter it created was amazing...and virtually everyone took their keys home. You could try this with any vintage suitcase, storage box or tin box - just remember to keep the one key that opens the padlock separate!

'Once more....with feeling'

Hmm, this is familiar territory. Deciding to give my blog another go after ages of not doing it (see posts below!). But...since I last wrote, I have got married, started to look outside of my day job, had another two birthdays, become proficient at Twitter & Instagram, been inspired a lot and so....here I am! I was at an amazing wedding on Saturday and one of the guests I was sat with (after a few beers) started talking to me about dreams and how most people will never fulfil them. At first, I found this a little depressing but then I just felt like I had to give mine another go! This may come across as completely egotistical but I feel like I'm meant for more; more than my current job gives me. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone but I have a huge amount of creative energy that until a couple of years ago, I didn't know I possessed. Until I release it, I feel like it will drive me crazy! So, I've changed the name from Adorn to Lovelier than Before and will change my Twitter name from The Housewarming to yes, you guessed it, Lovelier than Before! My heart lies with both events and interiors, so I wanted a name that encompasses both interests. It doesn't seem to be the 'done thing' to have a blog that features both but who made the rules?! So, time to take a deep breath, stoke up the creative fires and get going!

All the small things

I just had one of those lovely moments where the world seems to stop for a moment and you feel genuinely, gloriously happy. And all because of a piece of toast!

It's a pretty boring story as to why I haven't been eating (much) normal bread but that was the first piece of toast I have had in months. And it really was one of those lovely moments where you feel truly content and, dare I say this without sounding like a Disney film, but, well, alive!

I'm quite lucky that this happens to me quite often.

All the small things that, without fail, make me immensley happy, even if just for a moment.

1. Clearly, a piece of hot, buttered toast.

2. The smell in the laundry aisle in any supermarket. I always walk down it, no matter what, sniffing the air like some kind of dog!

3. Knowing that I have perfect nail varnish on.

4. Fairy-lights. There's just something magical about them.

5. Drinking a cup of Twinings tea out of my favourite bone china mug; I only ever use this mug on a Friday when I get in from work. Yes, I save the mug!

6. Getting a piece of post that looks exciting when I don't have a clue what it is.

7. Bon Jovi's 'Livin' on a Prayer'.

8. What the stars look like when you're out in the countryside, away from any town.

9. Putting on my wedding tiara. Which I do, a lot.

10. Finding a treasure in a charity shop: cups & saucers, a childhood book, a glass cake stand. This is genuinely my new vice.


There are more, I know but for the moment, this is enough.

You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!

Well, I'm going to be brave and hope that someone actually reads my blog. I honestly didn't think anyone did but then I just figured out that there's a 'stats' bar thingy and I was shocked (and I mean shocked) at how many people have had a little-look-see!

So, feeling brave, I'm going to ask for a favour...which then allows me to do someone else a favour!

As you'll see from the photos, I created a moodboard of wedding ideas and a handwritten booklet for one of my friends. Well, I'd like to make one for someone I don't know so that I can get truly honest feedback as to whether I've captured the theme, the ideas and the dream of someone's celebration. Of course, it doesn't have to be a wedding; it could be any event, party or celebration.

If anyone is interested, just leave me a comment and we'll get right on it! x x

The key to happy guests!

Well, short but sweet - the best idea I've heard in ages, taken from another wedding blog (a real bride) but I cannot for the life of me think where!

Every guest has an old key (of course, prettied up with ribbon and tags). There is one birdcage, vintage box or other fabulous 'container'.

One of the keys opens the padlock that locks this 'box'.

And inside, is a prize! Champagne, chocolate, a voucher......the possibilities are endless.

I'm now scouring ebay for keys!

Piece of cake!

Right from the start, my mum and me wanted to make my wedding cake. I suppose this was because of the astronomical prices of wedding cakes, we like baking and it seems more personal.

This has meant much research, a little bit of baking and the fun part, tasting. But the ones we'd made so far didn't seem right. They were too dense, too sickly - I had visions of tipsy people throwing up into the posh hotel plant-pots! This is especially important as I'm serving the wedding cake as a dessert in the evening, not in the day.

But then my mum found the recipe for the 'most amazing cake ever'! And I'm calling it that because I held a taste-test at school in my office.............and that's what every single person who tried it called it!

Now, I thought it only fair to share so have tried to add a link just above this post. However, as my links never seem to work, I'll probably end up adding it in the comments box below!

The recipe is from the BBC Good Food website and has lots of helpful comments from other people at the bottom. I'm planning on having a fruit tier and then all the others as chocolate as it was so amazing and we're serving a lemon dessert in the day.

Honestly, the chocolate recipe is worth making for a birthday or other celebration as it's so delightful!

I'm off to eat the last piece (oh, OK, two pieces!).

Invitations, invitations, invitations!

They have been time-consuming, have made me realise just how imminent our wedding actually is and have been a joy to send off. Yes, our invitations!

And you know what? They are my biggest wedding bargain so far. As you'll see from the photo, they are good quality, simple and beautiful.

And they were from Ikea.

Yes, that's right: home of tiny wooden pencils, big yellow crinkly bags, Swedish meatballs and now, my wedding invitations!

I saw them one day last summer, thought they were beautiful and bought several packs as thank you cards. At the time, I remember thinking that they would be beautiful invites but due to the cheap price, felt that they wouldn't be good enough quality. Snob.

Then I got home, unwrapped them and realised just how lovely they were. They had no barcode anywhere, nothing to say where they were from (no, not being snobbish this time, just stylish).

Cue early get-up the very next day, a 50 mile trip, me almost running to the shelf (just in case someone else had had the same idea!) and relief when I realised that they were all still there. It was like some kind of upmarket version of 'Supermarket Sweep'; I was literally using my whole arm to swipe them into the trolley, just until no-one else could grab them and I could count them in peace!

And the most amazing thing - £45 for all of my day & evening invitations!I've been proud to send them off, what with their thick, pristine and pearly envelopes holding the delicate, raised design inside. I hope my guests will be as excited about the landing on the doormat as I was about posting them!

A hen do do do, push pineapple, shake the tree!

Well, the hen do train is finally a'rollin'! After what seems forever planning our wedding, with just 6 months to go now, it's beginning to really sink in that yes, we are actually going to be married and so I had really better sort out the bigger details instead of obsessing over drinks stirrers, lace-wrapped candles and fairy lights!

And even though Bridesmaid 1 has moved far away from me, she is still being fabulous enough to organise my hen do for me. Every hen do I have ever been on has been a raucous affair, one memorably involving an 'Inflatable Husband' we christened Johnny, who then got to have much more fun than we did (that's a whole other story!).

It's funny but I can't actually believe that I will be having my very own hen do and I can't possibly imagine what will happen on it (maybe it's better not to know in advance!). But one thing I have realised is that actually, it's as much part of the wedding as the Big Day itself....and I can't wait.

Wedding planning a-go-go!

It's been a long whil since I posted - mainly due to a promotion at work, generally forgetting I even had a blog, laziness etc.etc.

But one main reason is the fact that my feet don't seem to have touched the ground what with wedding rings, suits (Nightmare on Moss Bros Street), photographer-finding, hotel-traumas (now sorted, thankfully), ebay-bidding galore....

And now onto the invitations. The image is from my Save-the-Dates. There'll be more to come of the invites but also as soon as I begin the crafty DIY details.... x

I heart Save-the-Dates!

I found the instructions to these on the Eat Drink Chic blog and absolutely loved them. I have to say that theirs were far more perfect than mine (they involved aligning the words on a computer, so that they could all be printed off accurately) but I'll be honest, I'd much rather hand-write!

So hopefully these will be hanging in the homes of our guests for the months to come!

Reclaiming the weekend...and the blog!

OK, so it's clear that so far, I have not been great at writing a blog! I am always thinking 'Ooh! That could be put on my blog!' and then wandering off on a virtual tangent. Before I know it, my last post was 6th August. As a teacher....could do better.

I am much the same in regards to teaching. I often think, 'Right, I am going to have a life this weekend and not do ANY work' but then along come 30 essays by Y11 that have to be marked to be added to the 'I'll-catch-up-at-the-weekend-pile'.

But, as I've had the summer to myself (I know, even worse that I haven't written anythng for ages), I've spent a delightful few weeks doing what I like. And that included a morning spent wandering the shops of Trentham Gardens (if you've never been, go at once!). I picked up a book that looked lovely - I always judge a book by its cover! - and took it home to read with a cup of tea.

It's been a long time since a book inspired me so much. 'The Wonderful Weekend Book' by Elspeth Thompson is full of beautiful ideas for things to do at the weekend; once you've decided to reclaim it, that is. I was so inspired that I decided to e-mail the author to tell her. When I logged on to her website (www.elspeththompson.co.uk) I was so shocked to learn that she had sadly died in March of this year.

It seems that her story was so sad and it made me realise that life really is too short. Too short to ignore writing, too short to worry about what flowers I'm going to have at the wedding, too short to feel guilty about buying not one, but two pairs of the most gorgeous boots at Cheshire Oaks, too short to spend every single weekend working, too short to put off starting a business............I could go on!

So here's to a new start, both in my life and in my blog!

Take your seats!

My very first table plan! Made for my lovely friend Becs, who has a Lake District theme for her wedding. It was quite stressful but I'm really proud of it and unless she was fibbing, Becs was really happy with it. Hurrah!

365 days to go...

One year today, I will be wearing THE dress, will have a sparklesome new ring on my finger, will have a new name and will be married. A teeny bit scary but also fabulous!

How unique is unique?

I'm sure that I'm like many brides in wanting a unique, soecial, personal wedding (for now, I'll ignore the irony of that sentence!). But how original can you be?

I am an official loser and have a scrapbook full of ideas I've collected from magazines. I'm also now addicted to wedding & events blogs and I even have a saved list of links to anything I find that I love (how very Monica Geller of me).

The trouble is, with all these ideas coming from somewhere, am I running the risk of ending up with a similar wedding to all those other people out there looking for inspiration?

I love the Rock 'n Roll Bride blog and the other day, innocently came across this wedding:



The title alone got me interested and although I'm not this shabby-chic in taste, lots of these ideas are my ideas, Goddammit! The use of vintage books, the paper and fabric flowers, the soda bar...

I felt a bit gutted actually. Because I realised that my 'unique' ideas, that are all special in my head, can never really be that if they've been influenced by so many other people.

But then I realised that, for my guests and for me and my H2B, it will be unique and special. So what if someone else had fabulous fabric flowers? So what if I stole an idea from somewhere? We all have to start somewhere and we all add our own stamp onto our days, even if it's just the choice of colour, the scent of a candle or the print of a paper.

And if my wedding can look half as much fun or half as stylish as most of the weddings I see all over the place, then I'm going to be a very lucky girl indeed.